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03 March 2009 @ 07:06 pm
Sad Anniversary  
Today is a very difficult day for me. This, unfortunately marks the 1-year anniversary of my beautiful dog Sara's passing. D`: I can't believe it's been an entire year already that she has been gone from our lives. She was with us for fourteen wonderful years and I will never forget her dark, loving eyes and the loyalty & devotion she bestowed (especially on my Mom). It was a very difficult and trying last few weeks we had with her. She had developed a rare condition in her intestine that caused the inability to break down and digest proteins. As a result she was having bouts of diarrhea, vomiting, losing a lot of weight/muscle mass and her hair was beginning to fall out.

We did everything humanly possible to treat her, taking her to a specialist for an endoscopy and that's when they concluded what was wrong with her. We kept her at this hospital for about 3 or 4 days and they had her on fluids & proteins, but she was still having gastrointestinal problems. They said they couldn't keep her there just for that so she was released back into our care (she never should have been!) That night she got worse and refused to eat anything, and that was so not her, she loved her food. We rushed her back to the hospital where she was put back on the same treatment but it was too late. A few days later she died, early in the morning, before my family could get there. =(

It was an experience I surely never want to go through again, as I still have post traumatic stress from living that nightmare. There is not a day that goes by that I don't stop to think about her and the sweet things she would do. I would give anything if things could have turned out differently and feel a tremendous amount of guilt that she had to suffer for so long the way she did. I realize there was nothing more we could have done, but those "what if" thoughts run circles in my brain all the time.

I try to not let the grief of losing her bring me down to that depressive state I was in after it happened, and am trying to spend this day reflecting on her life and the good memories my family and I will always have of our beloved Sara. She will live on in my heart forever! <3


I apologize for the poor quality of these pictures, they were taken with my cellphone. I still have to get my scanner hooked up so I can show you some nicer ones!








 
 
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Elizabeth: Pattie- for you blueerizabeff on March 4th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC)
Oh, she was such a beautiful dog. I'm so sad about you loosing her, I know how tough that can be. :c
Kristin: Emma Watsonkristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 12:44 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I appreciate your thoughtful comments. *hugs*
bistyboo1974: general/cuddlesbistyboo1974 on March 4th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)
*HUGS*

I've been there, myself. I lost my cocker spaniel a little over ten years ago. She was quite sick and suffered through many tests/procedures at the vet before I ultimately decided it was time to let her go. It's literally one of if not THE MOST difficult decisions I've ever faced. And I don't think I will ever stop missing my pet, no matter how much time has gone by. ♥
Kristin: Dogs- Retriever Puppykristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
Aww, I'm so sorry that your baby went through so much too! It hurts so much to lose a beloved pet. Thankfully we didn't have to face the awful decision of whether to put her down or not. Her last act on earth was sparing us of that, dear soul. Thanks for your reply! *hugs*
the devil in a sweet, sweet kissjorajo on March 4th, 2009 01:33 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry, friend. *big hugs* She knows she was loved.
Kristin: Heather O'Rourke <3kristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
Thanks so much, Jorajo, that means a great deal to me! *hugs back*
(Deleted comment)
Kristin: Pippin- Black & White #2kristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 02:33 am (UTC)
*hugs back* ♥
Mariexeverywherex on March 4th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
Oh, she's adorable! I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is such a hard loss - I've never had a pet die, but one of my cats ran away a few years ago, and it hurt for a long time. *squishes you*
Kristin: HP- Ron & Hermione <3kristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)
Thanks, she was very beautiful, I think! <3 I'm so sorry about your cat, that's equally heartbreaking to not know what happened to your kitty. *squishes back*
Krissy: Friends: Ross/Rachel: Hugghostpiano on March 4th, 2009 03:25 am (UTC)
*big hug* <3
Kristin: HP- Sirius & Lupinkristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 04:15 am (UTC)
Thanks Krissy. *hugs back*
(Deleted comment)
Kristin: Puppy & Kittykristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 04:16 am (UTC)
Thank you. I really appreciate your kind & thoughtful words, and I'm sorry for your losses as well! *hugs back*
Alisamessageinbottle on March 4th, 2009 08:56 am (UTC)
what a beautiful dog! I know it's hard, but there's nothing you could've done otherwise. Important is all the good times you psent together.
Kristin: HP- Family is everythingkristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 07:26 pm (UTC)
You are absolutely right and I'm finally starting to believe that. I definitely try and focus on the good memories and happier times we shared with her! *hug*
nerwende: dS: Fraser & Diefnerwende on March 4th, 2009 09:18 am (UTC)
Honey, I so understand every word in this post. It's natural to think those "what if" and "if only" thoughts, but Sara knew you loved her and did everything you could to help her, and in the ends that's all that matters.

*big hug*

It is such a huge change when a friend of 14 years is not there physically any longer. It's not just the sadness and grieving and missing the dog, it's a complete change in day-to-day life. All the routines are done halfway or not all, and the familiar sounds just aren't there. It's impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't lived with a dog, isn't it?

Are you familiar with petloss.com? It isn't the best designed site ever (*rolleyes*), but there are lots of helpful articles and the message board has a lot of very compassionate people. I'd suggest you check it out if you haven't done so already.
Kristin: Sarakristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for your kind words, they helped a great deal! *hugs back* It is hard for those who have never had a dog to know exactly what it's like to lose one. We have since gotten another dog, but I really fought hard against it. He's nothing like Sara, which is both good and bad. I'm growing to love him but I still can't stop thinking about Sara and wishing she was still her with us.

I didn't know about the petloss.com site, I will definitely take a look at it. Thanks for forwarding the link to me. =)
(no subject) - nerwende on March 4th, 2009 11:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kristypadalecki on March 5th, 2009 12:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
Erin: Art; Cat - Teacupbjtp on March 4th, 2009 10:10 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry hun. She was beautiful. ♥
Kristin: Stock- Depressedkristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I agree. <3
sane_psycho02: Peter puppysane_psycho02 on March 4th, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)
Awww, what a beauty! I'm so sorry about you losing her. I know how hurtful it can be to lose a pet. :(
Kristin: The Monkees- Peter Torkkristypadalecki on March 4th, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much. It does hurt alot to lose a pet, but it helps having friends like you for support! *hug*
(no subject) - sane_psycho02 on March 4th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kristypadalecki on March 5th, 2009 12:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Kristin: Dogs- Retriever Puppykristypadalecki on March 5th, 2009 12:24 am (UTC)
Thanks, I so appreciate your kind words. *hugs back*
Michelle: Stock - Doggleslifebecomesart on March 5th, 2009 02:11 am (UTC)
Very pretty doggie.
Oh I'm so sorry :(

My parents dog and cat both died last year. Pets that they had since I was a kid/in highschool. It was very hard on everyone.

*big big hugs*

When I lose my Wolfy I'll be inconsolable. Hopefully that won't be for many many years.
Kristin: Stock- (Dogs) Colliekristypadalecki on March 5th, 2009 02:49 am (UTC)
Re: Very pretty doggie.
Thank you. I'm sorry your parents lost their dog and cat as well, I understand you missing them very much! *hugs back*

I hope Wolfy lives for a long time still!
Manu: dog sadsweetgirl7808 on March 5th, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
I'm so so sorry for my delay. My daughter was ill so I wasn't around much.
Sara was such a beautiful dog. I can totally understand why you miss her. I'm so sorry about your loss!

I have 2 dogs and the older one (Cindy) is getting 10 in a few days. She has some troubles with her joints since a few weeks and that scares me out.

Pets give so much love without demanding anything. When I look into Sara's eyes there is so much trust, love and loyalty. I'm sure she was a special dog!

*hugs you*
Kristin: Stock- Depressedkristypadalecki on March 5th, 2009 04:38 am (UTC)
Thank you for replying, and for your very sweet and thoughtful comments. Sara did have the most endearing eyes and she was very special to us all. I hope your two babies still live for a long time to come! *hugs you back*
anndawson: sugaranndawson on March 5th, 2009 05:24 am (UTC)
hi, i just added ya as a friend, saw you through icons.. and i had to post on this one. Your dog was beautiful. I lost my dog rusty... almost 8 yrs ago.. and it took my 7 yrs to get another one, so I feel your pain. Hugs.
Kristin: Winter #2kristypadalecki on March 5th, 2009 05:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for responding, it's always nice to hear from new friends! I've added you, but I think you still need to add me on your end (if you want to).

After Sara passed away my Mom wanted to get another dog right away and I wanted no part of it. We ended up getting a new dog only 5 months later, which I still feel was a bit premature, but he's grown on me now. *hugs back*